it is still not easy

this is going out to you:

up till now i think it's been very hard on you. i don't want that to happen, i don't intend for this to happen but it has to. i want to spare you the pain, surely you'd wish for me to spare you the pain but i simply cannot do it. it is just for your own good. i don't want to leave you feeling hurt and down, it saddens me too, believe me.

i'm trying to lead a normal life, though it proves to be very hard. i have never heard from you since sunday and i truly and sincerely hope that you are fine and well. there should be no hard feelings between us, though i think you might be blaming me for this. i don't blame you, and i will never. i won't contact you till the end of the week, i need to give you space to breathe and think. till then i truly hope you'll look after your own well being and not do things that you would regret.

it never was easy, trust me.