kuroi ame

i can't help but think "it's another december". the last december i could recall... well it wasn't very pleasant. and well i'm listening to "when you were young" by the killers and all i could say that it made me recall last december with even more colour.

last december rained like it never rained before. well... i guess this december did just as well. but exactly a year ago it rained for days, no, weeks. or maybe it was just a couple of weeks, but i guess those days were somewhat bittersweet and has been etched deeply in my memories.

i would stay in bunk, waiting for lessons. the whole lot of us. fresh out of OCS. my buddies. those carefree days i would think. the one i loved left me a year ago for some strange reason. and i felt lost, like really lost. i would find excuses to go out with anyone, yes anyone. just to kill time, so i thought to myself. to put it in words, last december was gray, with some highlights and streaks of colour here and there. but mainly, it was gray, not only the skies but the world that revolved around me.

the feeling still remains. lost and undecided. but that was a year ago. so i though, again. then it made me think, "what is so different between this december and the last?" indeed. nothing much has changed. i'm still alone, just like the many decembers i can think of, rotting and decomposing, but, not lost nor undecided! a good start i say.

something is bothering me. i'm not old, neither am i that young. but i realised that youngsters nowadays have a knack for vulgarities. must be an upcoming trend. i stumbled across a group of secondary school students on board the bus on my way home and my gosh this young lady was spewing profanities like mount krakatoa when it erupted. and she liked it. and her immature friends seemed to add more lava to the profani-tastic flow.

alright enough said. i guess i'm kinda old fashioned. *$&# *$&@ @$($%!!!

for the 4th night running i can't sleep. maybe it is due to my couch potato lifestyle, always waking up at 11 or 12 for that matter.

anyone interested in hiring a guitarist? or a vocalist?