reminisce

there's always something that i would never forget. oh how that day plays itself over and over again in my thoughts, just like silent movie but with bright and vivid colours. that, and not forgetting the days the came after, the weeks and the months. arduous. i had to endure.

what was i thinking back then? should i have held on to her, knock some sense into her? make her realise that she was making the single most biggest mistake of her life? the fact was, i didn't. i let her go. i let her speak her mind as my eyes welled up with tears that don't seem to ever stop flowing. her words seared my empty heart as those crystal droplets lay rest on the park bench. my mind was blurred.

as she uttered the first few words, i thought to myself, gosh, it is finally happening. the end of the strain in our relationship. no more worries for both of us. then, as she continued, a totally different set of emotions sank in. she was the only one i had loved, cared for and cherished for over 3 years. the things that we've been through, the ups and downs. we practically grew up together, as well as grew on one another. but i kept silent. not knowing what to do at that point of time. she asked me why i was so silent. the only thing i could tell her was that it wasn't the first time, and what would i get from saying anything?

she parted, just like that. not a clean break. like a human body bring ripped apart, leaving the insides dangling out in the most grotesque of ways. my vision tunnelled as the grim reality started to set in. this time round, a heavy flow proceeded as my thoughts went into overdrive with a thousand memories swarming through. i got up from my seat, and stormed away.

i have never forgiven you since that day.